Out Of Relationship Mode, What Goes On In A Man’s Mind After A Breakup Written by Peter White. Hello and thanks for your great question. You’re the one who held his hand when it wasn’t easy for him. Let me show you how & why. He still has feelings for you and he can’t process them right. He’s the one who’ll have to face his shitty actions one day, not you. We were very serious and we have ALOT of mutual friends! Some men turn to sleeping longer, skipping work, binge-watching shows, ANYTHING which gives him time ALONE away from everything that reminds him of you. He wants to get away, but there are things to discuss. They just want you to think that they do. There's good sideGetting Your Ex BackIf you want your ex back, all other things considered,  it's certainly a possibility.I don't have much at why do guys that I've written personally but I have lots of great material posted up that you can go through for help which does include one by me:Broken Up? ♦ Get my personal secret to getting a guy devoted and obsessed over you. Doing this on your own probably won’t solve anything. Some men immediately feel this along with the need to contact you and make amends but some don’t and would rather opt to different behaviors such as getting depressed or. We both want each other so much and it’s hard to talk because we both want to be together and it hurts too much. He WILL feel like he's off his game. Some say that men would be slower to react and will not even cry when faced with this situation. The guy clearly misses you and since he can’t simply talk to you about his feelings and hash things out if possible, he’ll resort to these measures just to see your face. (He would always come without my asking). Because then, he’ll show everyone just how strong and impervious he is. Now, this is a new pain for me. But just know that one day, his pain will catch up with him and he’ll finally be forced to face his demons. Sometimes, guys’ behavior after a breakup is so transparent. By trying to appear macho, he does the exact opposite. Here's a quote which explains why it takes so long for guys... Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington says women can both enter and recover from extreme emotional states a LOT faster and easier than guys can. I dont understand whats going on. Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. This behavior is unhealthy and hurtful toward you, so it’s on you to talk to him and make him see how wrong and toxic this is. I don’t know how much this is going to help, but the only reason he’s doing it because deep down he’s still hurting. After being together for 3.5 years. Ironic, huh? After so much time together, he just nonchalantly decides to delete your presence from his online world. Tell him "I think it's best not to see/contact for a while." Only it was all planned in advance. One of the most concerning types of guys’ behavior after a breakup is distorting the truth about how it all happened. A man who doesn’t have a strong support system or stable emotional confidence will opt to blame, getting even and being totally unfair with everyone. You don't have to feel sorry for them - that's their choice to remain silent and to bottle it all up. He does’nt show any feelings regarding this. I dated my boyfriend for about 2 months. But i could see it in his eyes when he would tell me. His behavior is shady but it all comes from a place of misplaced hurt. Understanding men does not have to be complicated. It seems to me that if something he does might hurt you, and you had a “casual” breakup, then I would definitely avoid putting yourself through it all by distancing yourself and allowing yourself to fully recover. The thing is, he didn’t want to break up and neither did I. BUT you must understand that since many men have been through some form of breakup in their lives - it WILL have an impact in his future relationships and if that happens to be you, HOPEFULLY today's post has helped you see things from HIS perspective so you can understand him better and make the transition easier for both of you. Who wouldn't? Some men immediately feel this along with the need to contact you and make amends but some don’t and would rather opt to different behaviors such as getting depressed or being angry. There are 3 critical reasons why you NEED to read this book IMMEDIATELY: ♦ If you’re not sure what his type is, you could misread everything he says & does which leads to more confusion and making mistakes with him that will hurt. Would like to know your thoughts, thanks . Seeing him with a new chick is one of the hardest pills to swallow, especially so soon after the breakup. One consistent thing among ALL men is that even if he gets through the process in a reasonable amount of time... the FEELINGS will linger and outlast the grief because men don't process emotions as efficiently as women do. Quickly, you go to your other accounts and find out the same shit happened everywhere. Is he ok? Seeing you only reminds him of how poorly he’s treated you and therefore lost you, so he lashes out big time. OR "How can I fix this problem?" ♦ Learn the insight & ability to detect if he’s for real, using you for sex, a player, a good guy, or one of those rare REAL man you DO want. Sign up for an account. However I won’t say he’s thinking about getting back with you. I dont know why he just made such a haste decision. Why Men Don’t Approach You & Some… Chick Bait? ), “I have enjoyed reading your words and found them very helpful in finding myself with guys. So the onward search for identity becomes part of the whole "getting over it and moving on process" AND depending how deep I went OR how much of me I let go OR who I believed I was before AND who I think I am now - has to come together. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. Do i leave him alone to clear his head? You can’t assume he’s suffering less just because broke up with you either. Do You Over Think About Him Way Too Much? How do i get him back? When we were together he always told me I was healing, I was doing better even though I couldn’t see it, and I was gonna be ok again. It shows his lack of respect for his ex and it proves my point – guys suck at handling their emotions post-breakup! There's no appropriate time table that you're "supposed" to suffer through after a break up. So you went to check his profile and what do you know… he’s deleted you from Insta! Naturally, you’re pissed! He felt like himself with me. Beyond that IF that’s not happening give him all the space YOU need, not him. We continued to communicate for a few days and now we haven’t spoken in 3 days. Honestly, him and I were inseparable. I’m going to say yes he “sort of” wants to work it out with you BUT most of that comes from the fact the he now understands he can get away with it. That’s just the factual reality of the dating world. Is There One Simple Answer For You? 1. We had the most amazing relationship We we’re inseparable and at the start had both felt like we’re meant to be and start a life together, till about a year and a half ago He had gotten into drugs and since then he started getting more distant. We both told eachother we would never leave eachother no unless cheating was involved. They look at it this way: ”You’re the one who dumped me, so now I get to hurt you back.”. UPDATE: This post was written 5 years before my marriage to the most wonderful and amazing woman in the world so please - keep that in mind as you read it. Is it possible to get him back. every couple has fights and i guess he was scared I would leave him. So to make it easier on himself, he deletes every trace of you from his social media accounts not to have to be reminded of the pain he’s suppressing. Because they can’t handle being alone as well as girls can, so they turn to a rebound relationship and online dating in search of a new girlfriend instead of dealing with the pain of their previous relationship.


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